1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,572
[***]

2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,207
Good job, honey.
Dynamite duck.

3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,541
Heh-heh. Thank you.

4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,810
That would be
a great cartoon character.

5
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,145
Dynamite Duck.

6
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:15,249
"Quack, quack. Boom!"

7
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,485
Oh, hey, uh, I'm going down
to McDuffy's to watch

8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,553
the big pay-per-view fight
Saturday night. You wanna go?

9
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,122
Absolutely.
All right.

10
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:22,856
Oh, aren't you
forgetting something?

11
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,792
I'm sure that I am.

12
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,461
I'm sure that
you're gonna tell me.

13
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,996
Saturday's the big wedding
for Susan,

14
00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:29,997
head of my department?

15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,365
Oh, yeah.

16
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,267
People I don't know
gettin' married.

17
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,736
How could that slip my mind?

18
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,771
Oh, come on.
It'll be fun.

19
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,007
Getting dressed up,
meeting new people, dancing.

20
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,909
There's also the downside.

21
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:45,479
Getting dressed up,
meeting new people, dancing.

22
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,615
Our wedding is gonna be
just us, a few friends,

23
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,483
super casual,
on the beach.

24
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,153
No stupid dances.
Oh, wait, what about the--?

25
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,987
No chicken dance.

26
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,224
Whatever.

27
00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:57,791
Susan loves Shakespeare,

28
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,194
so her fiancé
proposed to her at work,

29
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,195
dressed like Romeo.

30
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,165
It was so romantic.

31
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,234
That's romantic?

32
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:09,036
Prancing around in tights?

33
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,071
The guy made an ass
of himself.

34
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,475
You know, women like
when men are willing

35
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,444
to make asses
of themselves for them.

36
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,680
Let's see how his wife likes it
when he comes out of the closet.

37
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,083
You know what, babe?

38
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,919
You don't have to go.

39
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,456
I'd rather go alone than
have to pretend you're foreign

40
00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,957
so you don't have to
talk to anyone.

41
00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:33,727
That was working till
that damn busboy got chatty.

42
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,463
Since the guys
are going to the fight,

43
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,231
I'll go to
the wedding with you.

44
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,133
A little heads-up. If you
tell 'em you're from Guam,

45
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:42,603
don't refer to yourself
as "Guamish."

46
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,739
Yeah. He also referred to people
from Greece as "Greasers."

47
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,676
You know what?
Just to be clear, now,

48
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,744
if I don't go to the wedding,
you won't be mad?

49
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:53,881
No. Mm. Maybe a little
disappointed, but--

50
00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:58,118
Well, you're always a little
disappointed in me.

51
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,119
So count me in.

52
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,321
All right.

53
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,655
JEFF:
This is gonna be great.

54
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,258
It's gonna be
an Old School Jeff night.

55
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:07,027
Hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh.
Oh, Old School Jeff.

56
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,095
Glad I won't be there.

57
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,630
Ew.

58
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:12,065
I got your plate, honey.

59
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,234
Thank you.

60
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,837
Hey.

61
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,273
Uh, why are you glad
you won't be there?

62
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,041
Oh, you'll find out.

63
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,411
Hm-hm. You're not on probation
for anything, are you?

64
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,980
Probation?

65
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,516
Uh, we're just having beers.

66
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,518
Ha-ha, yeah.
Well, with Jeff,

67
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,019
there's "having beers,"
and there's

68
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,854
[DEEP VOICE]
drinkin'.

69
00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,789
He said it's gonna be
an "Old School Jeff" night,

70
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:38,292
and that, my friend,
means drinking.

71
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,761
Heh. Well, I can handle that.

72
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,063
I mean, I'm used to breaking up
fights when Jen drinks.

73
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,298
[LAUGHS]

74
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:47,868
She gets crazy,
which I find very hot.

75
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,904
Ah, then you're gonna be
super attracted to Jeff.

76
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:54,775
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S "HOW MANY WAYS"
PLAYING]

77
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,411
* How many ways
To say, "I love you?" *

78
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,617
* How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? *

79
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,020
* With you by my side *

80
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,723
* There is no denyin' *

81
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,726
* I can't wait
For me and you *

82
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,931
[***]

83
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,701
Yeah, so Audrey says when
he switches from beer to Scotch,

84
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,870
that's the signal
he's going old school.

85
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,605
You mean old school like,

86
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,775
back when people
used the term old school?

87
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,543
Yeah, exactly.

88
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,212
Back when they wore necklaces
like the one you've got on.

89
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,248
I wear this ironically.

90
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:37,951
Oh, it's pronounced
"moronically."

91
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,020
Anyway, once Jeff gets
a little Scotch in him

92
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,323
he'll want you to start to
dare him to do stupid things,

93
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,191
you know?
Like, "How much will you give me

94
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:45,793
to steal that cop's horse?"

95
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,996
Ha-ha. As much as
the ATM will give me.

96
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,565
But the real danger is when
he starts to get physical.

97
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,668
Like, uh, fighting,
wrestling, hugging.

98
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,169
That Jeff sounds
a lot more fun

99
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,071
than what we got stuck with.

100
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,808
Usually, it ends with
him doing something stupid,

101
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,644
which lands him and whoever
he's with in a holding cell.

102
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,613
Well, I'd love to be there
to watch all this,

103
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,247
but unfortunately,
I have a date.

104
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,750
Unfortunately for her.

105
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,020
If everything
goes as planned, yes.

106
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,055
Well, you're not gonna be
missing anything.

107
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,224
I'm gonna make sure
that Jeff doesn't drink so much

108
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,427
that he winds up in jail.
Why not?

109
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,861
I don't wanna
end up there with him.

110
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,030
I mean, look at me.
Inmates would be lining up

111
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,498
to get a piece of this.

112
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,200
Uh, not with that attitude,
they wouldn't.

113
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,437
Nobody likes
a stuck-up prison bitch.

114
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,173
They don't.

115
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,875
[***]

116
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,017
Boy, this is the exact opposite
of what Adam and I want.

117
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:47,788
It's so garish
and over the top and--

118
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,957
So much more magical
than I ever imagined.

119
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,158
[LAUGHS]

120
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,193
Hey, a simple wedding
could be magical too.

121
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:54,194
You're right.

122
00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,796
Oh.

123
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,965
Just a few friends,
on the beach.

124
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,403
Oh, a Cupid ice sculpture with

125
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,874
vodka flowing out of the arrow.
Heh-heh-heh.

126
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,942
I'm gonna send Adam a picture,
see what he thinks.

127
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,945
See, you're admiring
the ice sculpture.

128
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,682
Jeff would be lying under it
with his mouth open.

129
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:16,884
[PIANO PLAYING]
Mm.

130
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,186
There's the bride.

131
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,187
[CROWD APPLAUDING]

132
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,690
What a beautiful dress.

133
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:29,262
Yikes, back fat.

134
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,064
No wonder
her dad gave her away.

135
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,733
[BOTH LAUGH]

136
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,105
Did you record
what I just said?

137
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,576
And who are you?

138
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,712
I'm Back Fat's nephew.

139
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,950
[***]

140
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,522
Hey, this is great.
The girls go to the wedding,

141
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,925
we come here,
everybody wins.

142
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,160
Heh. Yeah. You know, the groom
should be the only guy

143
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,062
who has to go to a wedding.

144
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,732
Now, let's do some
serious drinking.
Yeah,

145
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,569
some seriously
responsible drinking. Huh?

146
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,937
Anyway, I can't wait
for the fight.

147
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,606
Nothing more manly
than a good slugfest.

148
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:16,644
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

149
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:19,713
There's nothing less manly
than that.

150
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,749
Text message from Jen.

151
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,884
She downloaded these ringtones
for my phone.

152
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,720
Maybe she can download some
'nads to your pants.

153
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,658
Oh, uh, "Think we should have

154
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,493
this ice sculpture
at our wedding?"

155
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,662
What? I can't believe
she'd even ask.

156
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:37,731
I can't believe nobody's
sucking on that arrow.

157
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,766
I don't want a fancy wedding.

158
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,033
We agreed on the beach.

159
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,103
You're engaged,
replace "we agreed"

160
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,705
with "she decided."

161
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:49,009
You're welcome.

162
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,512
Okay, she goes to
one fancy reception

163
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,246
and now she's rethinking
our wedding?

164
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,782
Her wedding.

165
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,118
You'll catch on.

166
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,653
[BELL RINGS ON TV]

167
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,922
Fight's starting.
This is gonna be great.

168
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924
MAN [ON TV]:
Fight scheduled for 12 rounds.

169
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,359
Fighters meet in-- Nice jab!
[CROWD GROANS]

170
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,928
And a hard right!

171
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,563
He's down.
He's down for the count.

172
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,798
I don't think
he's gonna get up.

173
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,165
It's over!
Get up!

174
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,334
Get up, you bum!
The fight is over.

175
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:18,105
They haven't even put out
the free Buffalo wings yet.

176
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,172
Well, that sucked.

177
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,974
All right. Fight night.

178
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,410
Here you go, Ginger.
Hey, I still have your panties.

179
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,411
They're in my fridge.

180
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:25,546
Hey.

181
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,981
Big beer for a big guy.

182
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,316
Oh, Russki.

183
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,184
Ha-ha-ha. All right.

184
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,486
So when's the fight?

185
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,854
Well, in about
five minutes

186
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,524
if somebody doesn't put
the Buffalo wings out.

187
00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,725
What happened to
your date?

188
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:40,528
Ah, I told her
I was getting the car.

189
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,862
You don't have a car.

190
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,797
Ah, what are you gonna do?

191
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,799
Yeah, maybe we should
call it a night.

192
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,835
Ah. whoa, whoa.
That's loser talk.

193
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,337
You're out tonight
sans ball and chain.

194
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:51,471
Why don't you live a little?

195
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,006
Here's a straw.

196
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,308
You know, you get drunker
drinking through a straw.

197
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,579
I did not know that.

198
00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,980
I can't believe
you wanna get him drunk

199
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,515
just so he does something crazy.

200
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,883
I can't believe you don't.

201
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,818
Plus, I remembered they have
a pool table here,

202
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,254
so I can hustle me some money
whilst he's drinking.

203
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,556
Last time you hustled a guy,

204
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,023
he punched you
with your own fist.

205
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,659
Oh, yeah.

206
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,961
I really kicked my ass
that night.

207
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,929
But hey, when it comes time
to collect my winnings,

208
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,966
I'll have drunk,
ready-to-fight Jeff by my side.

209
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,133
[SLURPING]

210
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,740
Audrey hates it
when I slurp pitchers of beer.

211
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,809
I remember that
from our wedding.

212
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,611
Hey, come on.
Less thinkin', more drinkin'.

213
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:31,812
Let's go.

214
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:32,913
Yeah.

215
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,815
Less beer, more
"let's get out of here."

216
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,717
Let's go!
You know what?

217
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,519
Adam's right,
I've had enough beer.

218
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,621
Ah, good call.
Ah.

219
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,089
Time to move on to Scotch.

220
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,092
Oh, ho! Old School Jeff.
All right.

221
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,326
Yeah!
Barkeep,

222
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,761
pitcher of Scotch.

223
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,002
[***]

224
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:58,071
Listen. Little boy,
what I said wasn't nice.

225
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,941
And you don't want anyone to see
that, especially not the bride.

226
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,309
Yeah, it's her special day.

227
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,011
She doesn't wanna
hear about her back fat.

228
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,780
Would you stop saying
"back fat," please.

229
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:09,116
Yeah, you don't have to
say it anymore.

230
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,751
I got it on tape.

231
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,286
Hey!

232
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,655
This mean lady's

233
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,189
trying to steal my camera!

234
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,759
No-- No.

235
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,594
No, no, he dropped it.

236
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,262
I w-was just
picking it up for him.

237
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,897
[CHUCKLES]

238
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,934
Look at that face.
Adorable little scamp.

239
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,074
Listen, you little brat,
the bride is my boss,

240
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,877
so I need you
to erase that tape.

241
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,145
Now, what's it gonna take?

242
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,148
Show me your boobs.

243
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,884
Excuse me?

244
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,720
Show me your boobs,
and I'll erase the tape.

245
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,221
Absolutely not.

246
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,557
One of 'em?

247
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,892
Listen, you pervy
little twerp.

248
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,060
I ought to go tell your mom--

249
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,263
You mean,
Back Fat's sister?

250
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,300
How would you like a video
of a woman pummeling a mouthy--?

251
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,170
Audrey, settle down.

252
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,638
I got this.

253
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,506
Okay, look, at your age,

254
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,709
it's natural to be curious
and want to see our boobs.

255
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,211
Not yours.
You're kind of flat.

256
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,680
[SCOFFS]

257
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,650
What?
I am not flat, four eyes.

258
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,786
I just call 'em
like I see 'em.

259
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,620
And I can barely see 'em.

260
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,823
It's my damn strapless bra.

261
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,725
It's squishing my girls.

262
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:25,726
[SIGHS]

263
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,460
Okay, come on, kid.

264
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,197
Look, all my friends
have seen 'em and I haven't.

265
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,298
How about this?

266
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,700
You erase the tape

267
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,867
and I'll give you
some pointers

268
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,268
on how to impress girls.

269
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,369
Impress girls?

270
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,338
See boobs.

271
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,606
That sounds good.

272
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,741
Tell me what you got.

273
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,710
Okay, first,
you erase the tape.

274
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,345
That's not how I roll.

275
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,814
First, the info.

276
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:49,649
Okay, I'll give you
the advice first.

277
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,019
Hey, guys,
this is Jane.

278
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,654
Oh, Jane, why don't you go
sign the guest book.

279
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,757
I'll be there in a second.

280
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:58,358
Now, that was flat.

281
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,797
So wait a second,
am I stars or stripes?

282
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,133
It's stripes and solids,
and you're stripes.

283
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,135
Oh. Okay.
It's just--

284
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,303
When you hit it with the stick,
it's like miniature golf.

285
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,773
That's fun.

286
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,808
All right,
that can't be too hard.

287
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,210
Ah, nertz.

288
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,849
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

289
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,385
I thought I put it on vibrate.

290
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,187
No, don't do that.

291
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:31,691
There might be somebody here who
doesn't think we're a couple.

292
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,893
What?

293
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,527
Do we want a monogrammed
dance floor?

294
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,164
What, is she smoking crack?
I-I gotta call her.

295
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,632
She's getting out of control
with this wedding stuff.

296
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,801
Here's some advice.

297
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,837
Give up.

298
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,406
Wow. That's a good
pep talk, coach.

299
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,408
Look, over the years,

300
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,011
Audrey's gotten all kinds
of grand ideas:

301
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,847
We're getting a lake house,
going to Morocco,

302
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:56,183
giving up dairy.

303
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,752
I've learned that if I say no,
she digs in her heels,

304
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:02,022
but if I give up
and say nothing,

305
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:06,659
eventually she loses enthusiasm,
the idea flames out,

306
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,562
even before we've opened
the soy cheese.

307
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,833
It's gonna be really hard
not to say anything.

308
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,501
Don't worry about it,
I'm here for you.

309
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:18,138
If you start to screw up,
I'll punch you in the neck.

310
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,708
Thanks, man,
you're a good friend.

311
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,777
Hey, how's it going,
Mini-sota Fats?

312
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,212
[LAUGHS]

313
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,714
It's going great.
You just keep drinking.

314
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,216
Hey, how's
the hustle going?

315
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,918
Ah, right on schedule.
They're getting cocky,

316
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,352
almost time to lay down
the big bet.

317
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,187
How's it going
with Drunkenstein?

318
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,623
I think he's almost ready
to terrorize the villagers.

319
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:37,991
Hey, what do you guys think?

320
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,993
Should I have gone
to that wedding with Audrey?

321
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,694
Oh, no. Then I would
never have gotten

322
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,664
to smell your great breath.

323
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,134
You're right. Because, I mean,
I was at our wedding.

324
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,202
Shouldn't that be enough?

325
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,039
[GROANS]
You guys are great.

326
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,440
I'm-a get you
a round of shots.

327
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,374
Waitress.

328
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,311
All right.
A toast.

329
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,954
Okay, for starters,
you can't just walk up to a girl

330
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,321
and say,
"Let me see your boobs."

331
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,023
Oh, right.

332
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,926
Let me see
your boobs, please.

333
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,062
That's not what I meant.

334
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,331
It helps to be sensitive,
and to connect emotionally.

335
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,201
I'm 10, not gay.

336
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,805
Teachers are really
underpaid.

337
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,542
And I don't know,
I was thinking

338
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,511
we could get married
in the same church.

339
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,014
Oh, and we have to have
amazing centerpieces

340
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,215
like they have here.

341
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,349
ADAM:
Amazing centerpieces?

342
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,252
What do I think?

343
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,825
I think
whatever you want.

344
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,931
All right.
I'll talk to you later.

345
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,665
What?

346
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,936
No, your boobs are great.

347
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,739
Hey, how much will you give me
if I ate all these jalapeños?

348
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:00,908
Nothing.

349
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:02,943
Done.

350
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,979
I'm at this fraternity party--

351
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,647
That's where
I first met my husband.

352
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,916
And later on, I'm asleep

353
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,918
and this rock crashes through
my window.

354
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,753
And I look out,
and Jeff's in the courtyard.

355
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,389
[AS JEFF]:
"Just wanted to make sure
you got home safe, chief."

356
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,657
[LAUGHS]

357
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:21,394
It was the most romantic thing
I had ever seen.

358
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,563
That's romantic?

359
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,167
Well, I'm from
a very small town.

360
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,569
But it was the effort he made.

361
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,439
I mean, he was willing
to look stupid for me.

362
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,108
Almost determined.

363
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:39,212
Right then I knew, this guy
will always be there for me.

364
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,014
So where is he tonight?

365
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,853
My point is, do something
that gets a girl's attention

366
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,956
and lets her know
she's special.

367
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,724
And then don't stop doing it
14 years later.

368
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,326
That's the advice?

369
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,861
Yeah.

370
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,996
So you'll erase the tape?

371
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,031
I'll record over it.

372
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,000
Thank you.

373
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,670
With footage of your boobs,
because that advice sucked.

374
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,609
Excuse me,
I just wanted to thank you.

375
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,778
I'm engaged
and your wedding is giving me

376
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,113
tons of ideas for mine.

377
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,015
Here's an idea: Elope.

378
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,749
This whole thing's
been a nightmare.

379
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,153
Really? It's so romantic.

380
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,688
Not when everything goes wrong

381
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,723
and people complain about
where they're seated,

382
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,126
and your dad won't shut up
about the cost.

383
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,694
Oh, I'm sorry.

384
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,029
Your dress looks nice.

385
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,998
Oh, thanks.

386
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,037
So hot.

387
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,571
Hey, my pigeon's got
some friends

388
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:42,642
that want to, uh, lay
some action on our next game.

389
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,578
Hey, uh, why is he downing
all these pickle chips?

390
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,879
He thinks
they're jalapeños.

391
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,881
[GRUNTING]

392
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,917
Burning my mouth.
Burning.

393
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,519
Hey, pay up.

394
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,221
I said I wouldn't
give you anything.

395
00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:57,090
All right.
So we're even.

396
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:02,795
Hey, call Jen,
and see if Audrey's mad at me.

397
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,731
No. You know what?

398
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,633
Have her send a picture,
'cause I can tell

399
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,001
just by looking at it.

400
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,570
Hey, listen. You know, uh,
for a free guy out on the town,

401
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,905
you're talking an awful lot
about your wife.

402
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:13,940
You know what?
That's it.

403
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,208
We're going right now.

404
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,709
You and me. Fight.
Whoa, Jeff, whoa.

405
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,578
Come on, man,
you don't wanna fight.

406
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:19,846
You know what?
You're right.

407
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,148
I love Russki.

408
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,615
I wanna pick you up, though.

409
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,619
Oh, okay. That's good.
Put me down.

410
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,588
Keep up there long enough
while I run the table

411
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:29,589
and win the big bet.

412
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,990
Hey, Bluto, you wanna be my
muscle?

413
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,825
You got it.
All right.

414
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,027
I'll whistle
when I need you.

415
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,896
Oh, God. My insides.

416
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,231
Agh.

417
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,966
Sit down, little fella.

418
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,434
Oh, God.

419
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:45,205
Last weekend Audrey went
to the auto show with me.

420
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,974
Doesn't even care about cars
but still went.

421
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,843
Even carried the brochures.

422
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,145
Must've weighed 40 pounds.

423
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:55,115
Oh, God,
Scotch and-- And pickles?

424
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,117
Help me.

425
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,752
I hope she's having fun
at that wedding.

426
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,690
She's a good egg.

427
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,693
And she makes good eggs.

428
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,796
Wow, I can't believe
I made that shot.

429
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,831
That's crazy. That's lucky.

430
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,700
There's no way I'll be able
to make this one.

431
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,206
Oh, what--? I can't--
They all went in the holes.

432
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:20,640
That's good, right?

433
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,641
Pay up.

434
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,211
Dude, you hustled us.

435
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,545
Now we're gonna kick your ass.

436
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,147
Really? You got
a problem with me,

437
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,248
take it up
with the big guy.

438
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,682
[WHISTLES]

439
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,186
[WHISTLES]

440
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,523
Where's Jeff?

441
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,759
I don't know,
but his breath is still here.

442
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:40,827
[YELPS]

443
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,164
Heh-heh. This guy,

444
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,033
he looks wiry and dumb,

445
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:51,438
but I tell you what,
he's tough as nails, that one.

446
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:54,341
["AFTERNOON DELIGHT"
PLAYING ON PHONE]

447
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,880
Heh-heh-heh.

448
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,715
That's a good song.

449
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,521
Oh. I'm having
the worst night of my life.

450
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,423
I think I'm over
the fancy wedding thing,

451
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,591
it seems like a big headache.

452
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,426
Hey, would you
distract the bride

453
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,794
while I put this
back on the cake?

454
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,529
Jen, what--?

455
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,665
It looked just like
me and Adam.

456
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,567
Give me that.
JEFF: Hey, everyone,

457
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,702
I got something to say.
Oh, no.

458
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:26,706
You don't know me, but, uh,
there's a very special--

459
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,808
Very special lady
in the house.

460
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,544
Not you. Not you.

461
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:35,047
Anyway, I wanna dedicate
a song to Audrey.

462
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,416
Oh, no.

463
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,784
'Cause this song reminds me

464
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,886
of a really special day
that we had together,

465
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,221
because she's a champ,

466
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,223
and she carried
all the brochures.

467
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,924
Hit it.

468
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:48,628
[BAND PLAYING BILLY OCEAN'S
"GET OUT OF MY DREAMS"]

469
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,699
* Get out of my dream *

470
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,737
* Get into my car *

471
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,038
The auto show.

472
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:01,241
* Get out of my dreams *

473
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,875
You're ruining my wedding.

474
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,613
* Get into my car *

475
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,915
Hey, you see that idiot
up there?

476
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,818
That idiot is my husband.

477
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,052
So?

478
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,521
So if he's willing to

479
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,523
humiliate himself like that
to impress me,

480
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,291
don't you think I know what
I'm talking about?

481
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:23,530
So if I act like
an idiot for a girl,

482
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,164
I might get to see her boobs?

483
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,067
He is gonna see mine tonight.

484
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,537
Okay, I'll erase the tape.

485
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,672
Oh, better yet.
Record over it with him.

486
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,676
Hm-hm-hm.

487
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,678
I just got out of
next year's auto show.

488
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,118
[CHUCKLES]

489
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,555
Thank you for making
an ass out of yourself for me.

490
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,223
What are you taking about?
I was great.

491
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,359
I rocked the house.

492
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,128
You can stop making an ass
out of yourself, okay.

493
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,198
Nocomprende, soy Guamish.

494
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,236
I changed my mind.

495
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,837
I will look at your boobs.

496
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:08,174
No way,
you creepy little perv.

497
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,342
But thanks for asking.

498
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,347
Nice butt.

499
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,785
[***]

500
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,989
[***]